Things I should want... but don't.....

Children- I guess i'm a late bloomer in that sense...my biological clock is niether ticking nor tocking. It seems content to sit silently and watch all the mothers I know in barely masked horror.
Millions- Money is sorta over rated after a point isn't it? I have really simple needs..food, smokes, the occaisional martini and clothes...oh yeah petrol.
Husband-I quite like love, men and relationships. A husband...im not so sure. Seems like a scary grown up man telling me to "behave yourself young lady" in a stern sorta superior voice...boy am i a shrinks delight!
Nice house- eh! sure....can't see myself picking out china, drapes and yelling at parvathamma the annoying maid all day long. When I sometimes look longingly at rattan furniture i quickly look at the price and run like meep meep the road runner. Who spends 80,000/- on a table???!
Best friend- What would be the fun in that? I'm so many different people battling so many different things I could never really claim any one person knows me the best. I like lots of equations with lots of people.

Tbbpthhh.....

Apple martini's and accents...

I know i've been really bad about posts lately...just innundated with work and absolutely no time to breathe!

In the middle of this otherwise hectic work filled week I went out last night. My friend Poz threw a party at Opus which was choked to the gills with page 3 people all air kissing and being seen. Since I also air kiss thats not up for scrutiny. The highlight of the evening was Gina making me her world famous in Bangalore Apple Martini....for the uninitiated this is the most brilliant tasting drink ever...really! If you're ever at Opus ask for one:)

This utterly delightful girl I met came with me to above mentioned shindig. Her boyfriend joined us and we wound up at a friends house. Boyfriend of delightful girl then proceeded to make me feel like crap for not being "desi" enough. Meaning I can't pick Amol Palekar out of a line up or sing a Geeta Dutt song.

That annoyed the hell out of me. Just who define's desi-ness?

Men!

I really don't get men. Thats a decided handicap. My 2007 resolution is to figure them out.

Weddings....

I went to a friends wedding ....someone i've known growing up....we've discussed boys....kissing techniques...clothes....life...
when I saw her standing on the stage decorated with flowers...all dressed up in saree and lots of beautiful jewellery talking to me with so much confidence and her heart swelling with pride...In that one momentI felt like such a .....child

la la la la la feeling groovy....

Ever have one of those days when you're stressed out of your head but you seem to float through it with a zen like calm?...a bizarre sense of stillness takes over you and everything around you is like a snazzily edited music video....colours,voices, smells whizz past you and the only thing in your head is some totally inappropriate song?

yeah...la la la la la feeling groovy...

Beauty ...The Beast...

For atleast 17 of my 27 years i've had several conversations with diverse groups of people on the subject of attractiveness. What makes someone attractive?Do attractive people get better jobs/boys/girls/money etc.. . Since I'm a woman I have to admit I end up dissecting another woman's claim to good looks far more than I would a man's. Stuff like "she's ok...nice skin ...good hair...but needs to knock off ten pounds" we all do it. All the time. As im becoming more a "grown up" than i've ever been it really affects me ...this issue of attractiveness and what it supposedly does or doesn't do for you.

I am considered attractive ( ascertained by a highly unscientific poll of men I know:)). As a fairly intelligent woman it upsets me greatly that I care if people think I look good. A friend of mine(Blinky) pointed out, highly amused, that I'd much rather have people think I'm and idiot than have people think i'm ugly. True.

I spent an entire day after that conversation wondering how I could be so shallow. Did I really value my attractiveness over my intelligence? The answer is I don't. I'm more likely to contest a woman's claim to intelligence because thats what I value more about myself.

Thats when it struck me....to women good looks is power. In a sick twisted way it's currency. The prettier you are the easier your life is is the perception amongst most people. Women will view another woman who may be more attractive with suspiscion ...much the same way a rich powerful man views a richer more powerful man. It doesn't seem to matter that as women we've worked so hard for so long to be viewed as so much more than pretty young things.... we still seem to subscribe to the age old stereotype that beauty is to be valued. Highly.

My uber feminist friends tell me that we value beauty so much because men constantly judge us on what we look like. At the risk of seriously pissing some of my friends off, I don't think thats fair to men at all. I know several men that have graciously patted bimbettes that have come their way on the head (ok....mostly on the ass) and opted for women that have some serious IQ's. I refuse to believe that men are the root cause of this one!

Which brings me back to the beauty=power theory. See, I think beautiful women learn very early on how to manipulate the world into giving them whatever they want without much effort. That's just it. It's not like you can't work...earn money and THEN buy whatever it is your heart desires...hell millions of men do exactly that! It's just that pretty women quickly figure "screw that...i'll just let my abundant cuteness do the work instead. The world owes me coz im just so darn pretty".

The crappy thing is it works. Look at models! Who the hell gets paid millions just 'coz they happen to have great DNA!

Blinky, i'd like to change my answer. I'd rather the world think Im ugly than have them think i'm and idiot.